[Verse 1]
Laugh tracks in my flashbacks.
Want a wife, a couple kids and a hatchback.
I wanna write (drafts crumpled in the trashcan).
Get a date, write a book, book a cat scan.

Put a gift card in a tip jar
then try to get a bar star in your Smart Car®.
I love life but my love life needs a kick start
(kind heart, need a swift kick in the hind parts).

[Chorus]
Marriage Material, still eating carrots and cereal,
still eating honey and bread*!
I'm just trying to be funny and what, funny and dead?
Life's all sunny and wet (money and debt), like,
all I wanna do is cuddle in bed, once my stomach is fed,
you know, honey and bread.
Somebody please save me from a ton of regret.
You can rent me a tux put a gun to my head.
I'm like:

[Verse 2]
We need a big break at the think tank,
then I can hit this debt load with a shrink ray,
I can scan a bar code with a smart phone,
but I can't find a nice place in my price range?!?

I'm eating cream cheese on a Wheat Thin®.
I'm at home, I'm in a robe on a sheep skin.
I'm at home, It's 10pm on a weekend.
Get a date, write a book, book treatment.

[Chorus]
Marriage Material, still eating carrots and cereal,
still eating honey and bread.
I'm just trying to be funny and what, funny and dead?!?
Life's all sunny and wet (money and debt), like,
all I wanna do is cuddle in bed, once my stomach is fed,
you know, honey and bread.
Somebody please save me from a ton of regret,
You can rent me the tux put a gun to my head.
I'm like:

[Outro/Panic attack]
No, no, no, yes, yes, yes...


*this is the name of the album